身不由己 = 给我的寂寞

你唯一一天的off day，我以为你会选择在家里陪我？
可是我起来了才发现，原来不是。。。
我想太多了。。。

对你的失望，你给的寂寞。。。
你又何曾在乎过？

现在的心情，你真的会在乎么？
你所谓的身不由己，就是你给我的寂寞的理由吗？
难道我的寂寞，你就一点责任都没有吗？

我的心越来越模糊了。。。
好希望现在有一个人可以给我一盏灯。。。
告诉我心的方向该往哪里走。。。

我，真的生气了。。。

你今天让我又生气又难过，你知道吗？
我从来都没有怪你做工做到那么晚。。。
我只是觉得。。。
你难得今天做到8点而已，为什么就不能陪我多些时间呢？
为什么要跟朋友出去到十一点多，然后还要打game呢？
过后的时间才陪我？
意思就是说，你跟朋友出去和打game的时间都一定会多过陪我的时间？

我不懂哦。。。
就算你知道我真的生气了，你也可以因为你不想吵架所以就当作什么都没有发生的去睡觉。。。
那在这里的我呢？
自己生气？自己心情不好？自己难过吗？
还是不应该对你有那么多期待呢？

我，真的生气了。。。

真的很期待

宝贝。不是我不想陪你，也不是我不想早点回家。我每天做到12点都是因为我想多存点钱然后带到英国和你一起开开心心的玩。你总是说我不关心你难到我不会难过吗？我很想很想天天陪着你，我比你更期待在英国的日子所以我才会每天工作到那么晚。我没有钱。我在期待的是可以陪着你的一个月而不是在英国的一个月。你明白吗？

在等着爱人回家。。。

最近，我的爱人经常很晚才到家。。。
不是因为搞外遇，是因为他要做工。。。

一回到家，他有好多事情要忙。。。
冲凉，吃饼干，喝美禄。。。
聊一下下，他就要睡觉了。。。

这样的日子好无聊啊。。。
不过，我还有很多事情陪着我。。。
那就是我的功课。。。
因为宝贝就要来找我了，所以有很多功课我一定要尽快赶完。。。

再多一个月，我跟宝贝就可以见面了。。。
爱人啊爱人，你真的有很期待吗？
会不会来了之后，我们又经常吵架啊？
跟你说哦。。。不准跟我吵架！！
飞机票很贵，所以要好好珍惜在一起的一个月。。。
因为不知道这一个月过后，我们还要等多久才可以见面啊。。。
就算我闹小姐脾气，你还是要让我的啊！
谁叫你是男人～～哈哈！

好无聊～好无聊~~~~~~~

在等着爱人回家。。。

好累。。。

我需要的是被爱，很多很多的爱。。。
我需要的是在我难过或流眼泪的时候，你会陪着我，做些事情让我开心起来。。。
这些都是我曾经在你身上得到的。。。
而现在，这一切都不再拥有了。。。
只因为，你我已经忘了当初的约定。。。

心，真的好累好累。。。
除了爸爸妈妈给我的爱以外，我的人生都是得对身边的人付出的命。。。
我真的好想幸福的被爱，被疼。。。
眼泪不停的流。。。
这不是我想要的。。。
今晚，你又再次说出要我去找别人的话出来了。。。
也许你不知道，这就是我眼泪不停的流的原因吧。。。

好累。。。

BB ar... my love 1....

Bad dream is not goin to happend unless u wan it to happend... i wan you to noe tat i m here... my heart is be with you all the time... but oni my body is apart from you... so whenever u have bad dream... u have to tell youself about this... "my dd love me" Vinc Love JOY... i love you... 30days then we can meet each other ady... lets put down the worries... and i will be there for u... hug you.. kiss you... okay bb?? becoz i love you...

恶梦。。。

我做了一个很坏很坏的梦。。。
我的梦是流了很多很多的眼泪的。。。
起来的时候，我的baby gosh是湿湿的。。。

到了这一刻我才知道，原来语聪给我的伤害是有多么的深。。。
一直以为已经遗忘了那个伤口，原来真的是一辈子都忘不了的。。。

我梦到了“我跟你吵架了，我们连续一个星期没有联络对方。。。
知道，我从我朋友口中听到你牵着一个很清秀的女孩子在路上走着。。。
当我打电话给你的时候，你才说“你对我已经没有感觉了，分手吧！””

亲爱的，我知道这只是个梦，但是我不知道为什么自己会这样。。。
可是，我可以告诉你的是，我来这里一个多月了，我都是过着开心的日子。。。
只因为，你给我的快乐多过悲伤了。。。

谢谢你。。。

现在的心情是复杂的。。。只希望这个恶梦离我远远，远远的。。。
我只想要幸福的日子。。。与你。。。

Careful all the minutes, seconds....

DD ah.. Feel like scolding u loud loud!
Seriously, I am really really worried about u especially whenever u ride motor...
Not becos I don't trust u or no confident on u...
I'm just scared...
People around me, no matter I know or not...
Leave this world one by one...
The moment just now u didn't pick up my call, my heart was really worried...
I dunno wat happened to u...
I keep telling myself u will be fine u will be fine...
Until the moment I receive ur sms, I only put down my worries...
I'm not around u now, wat about if 1 day u suddenly left me in this world? (CHOI!)
I think I couldn't survive that time...

So, can promise me to be careful all the time!?
We are still going to have our future, isnt it?!

I love u, darl... =)

Love Paradise just like how I love you...

1 month has gone...

What do u think of the design of our blog? Nice?
It's 2.27am now, I'm gonna sleep soon...

DD, I'm here for 1 month already...
Time flies fast, isn't it?

I know that it's not easy for us to maintain long distance relationship...
But I believe in our beliefs...
The beliefs that holding in our hand, our heart and our love...

The day will be reaching soon, we will be meeting very soon again...
I miss ur hug, ur kiss, ur smile, ur everything!!!

Babe, I love u so much... Even now, this feeling has not change at all...

Good nite, babe...

Announcement for our blog!!

Babe, I've just updated and edited our blog.. Hope u will like it..

I moved one of my first blog which I wrote in UK into here as I'm gonna close that blogger and starts from now on, I will only update my blog here, okay?

I've just found out a song that is quite nice & sweet...

And I've already added into our blog too...

Hope u will like it too!!

There you are, the lyrics...

----> Officially Missing You

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I’m officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today
I’m officially missing you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

All I do is lay around
Two ears full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say
That I’m officially missing you

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way
To let go of you


It official
You know that I’m missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I’m officially missing you

My first blog for u when I'm 6500 miles far away from YOU!!!

Darling... I know u are sleeping now...
I finally had my dinner and just reached home...
It's really freaking' cold here!
Can't really have a perfect timing to accompany u today, I'm so sorry...
I guess u had a great night with Roger to have dinner in Kim Gary, right?
I seldom receive ur sms oh, will u forget me one day? (Scary...)
I think I will try to get a new number in Aberdeen tmmr when I reach there...
I will give u a call straight away after I got the number yeah!

DD... Tell u something secretly... I dropped a few tears in the plane last night...
Cos' I think of u...
When the moment I went into the gate, u kissed my lip...
I can tell that u don't bear me even though u didn't say anything...
U asked me to wait for u to come UK on November...
With these words, my heart and I are waiting for u...
Can't wait November to be here...

I want to go London with u, I want to go Manchester with u, I want to go... .... WITH YOU!!!

Baby, I know we are miles and miles away from one another, but I always believed that as long as our souls are connected to each other, the flame of our love will burn forever.

Baby, I miss u so so so much right now!!! I love you...

All to all is all about you~

To my Dearest one...
i regret that we had so many quarrel.. i m sorry that i lost my temper.. i should keep it within myself becoz i m a man.. i have to becoz i m ur man.. but i did not.. You are so important to me right now.. i m waiting for you to come back.. i m hoping to have future with you.. therefore.. i really need u to understand.. i din do anything wrong to u.. i m under control.. so i wan u to put down ur worries... becoz ur worries will become my guilty.. even though i m innocent.. my oni entertainment is oni futsal.. nothing else.. u said u have become more n more lonely becoz i m not around u... then how bout me?? have u think of me?? m i lonely too?? YES! i am... but i m looking forward to u.. Loneliness is all bout u.. This is long distance.. u are more experiences than me.. but how i goin to survive if u failed half way?? 43 days more then we can meet each other.. 43 days more then we can stay together for 1 month.. i keep telling myself i dunwan any bad thing to happend during tat 1month.. i avoid bad thing during this 43days... actually is starting from 69days..

About your friend.. i reali feel sorry to you.. many ppl around u happend to turn up in another way.. but mayb u can rmb 1 thing.. human nature used to b selfish.. especially Chinese.. but i believe that this is not a thing to fell u down the ground.. hopefully u can sort out another solution.. this is a vy good lesson for you to see wat is HUMAN..

Please keep urself healthy and safely.. i dun wish u to happen anything.. i m not around you.. so u have to take good care of urself..

I love you... i will be right here waiting..

我，真的是你的最爱吗？

亲爱的，我开始感到寂寞了，你感觉得到吗？
我不反对你做你想做的事情，可是...
有时候我真的很羡慕我的朋友们...
她们的男朋友不管等她们等到多晚，总是会等到她们到家...
我并没有要比较，只是不明白...
我要的有很多吗？我只是要你专心地跟我说话，哪怕只有半个小时？
我们是沉默的，似乎没有话题说...
我很努力的在找话题，就好像刚才...
我为什么叫你去facebook看我朋友的洋人男朋友？
是无聊吗？还是八卦？
我只是在努力的找话题，你可以感觉得到吗？
你有感觉到我的累吗？
我的心很累...
很寂寞的心情，你可以了解吗？
我不喜欢每一天睡觉前都带着不愉快的心情睡觉...

这是我来到英国流泪的第二次...
我开始感到越来越辛苦了...
在朋友面前，我必须装作坚强...
每天都开开心心的笑...
甚至跟你吵架，让自己很不愉快，都要偷偷摸摸...
有时候被小汇他们听到，都要假装不在乎...
我的心好痛，谁又可以来救它？
这是我们的第二个家？你又多久来一次了呢？
你真的在乎我吗？真的对我的思念有那么深吗？
还是你已经习惯我不在你身边的日子了？
我越来越模糊了，越来越不懂我们之间的爱情了...

眼泪，还是流着...
我们之间的爱情呢？会不会也这样被眼泪冲淡了一切？
当你看到这篇blog的时候，你会有什么样的心情？
现在的我，心是痛着，泪是流着... 你又知道吗？

我可以放手吗？我可以停止这一切了吗？我可以努力的防止我又在受多一次的伤害了吗？我可以刻意的不让历史重演在我身上了吗？我不懂...我什么都想不通...

眼泪啊眼泪，你可不可以停止了？能不能就坚强和潇洒一点？

伤心的夜晚...

亲爱的！今天心情不好所以想写blog一下...

嗯... 我终于看到“人终究是自私“的情况了...

我们已经开学第二个星期了，也要开始找partner来grouping了...

Sharon & Li Hsia 觉得参自己人presentation等于自杀，所以就马上找其他洋人一组了...

知道吗？最后的结果超好笑的...

找到最后，没有组的竟然是我们自己人...

我和小汇（因为这几天都感冒了，今天就没有去lecture class... 所以并不知道情况...) 竟然没有group...

Hospitality只有16个人，所以我们两个不知道可以参谁... 拿出来讨论的时候，也没有人真的在乎，因为自己都已经有group了...

自己人不要参自己人的唯一原因就是...

觉得自己人会害死自己人...

英文问题，思想问题，etc...

我们自己人真的有那么丢脸吗？

也许他们是对的，但是对我而言...我们是一起过来的朋友，不是更应该团结吗？

他们会说班上的四个荷兰人有自己的group了，所以不要找别人...

这就是所谓的朋友，不是吗？

我有点模糊了...

今晚的心情是，失望的...

唉... 伤心的夜晚！